I’ve convinced myself many years ago, that anything I don’t
know how to do or that I’m not good at, is a consequence of not having made the
decision to be good at it. Which I believe is a healthy thing to do, a healthy
to look at anything in life as it puts you in the driver seat. It makes you
accountable for the skills you have, accountability that comes from the deep
understanding that decisions are up to you and no one else.
But even when you do spend yourself mastering any subject or
discipline, you need to be self-aware enough to know how good you really are.
This is definitely related to ego, which is something one day I’ll write more
about.
There are 2 traps with regards to knowing your limitations:
self-imposed and externally imposed.
On self-imposed limitations, this is where you convince
yourself you’re not good enough or unworthy of being at a level you’d wish or dream
of being. This is the worst kind of limitation, because it’s definite and a self-fulfilling
prophecy. It’s a lazy and weak approach to anything in life, because it doesn’t
account for effort and putting in the work, that will ALWAYS give you results.
But putting in the work without believing it will make a difference, is just
plain stupid so please don’t do that either.
On externally imposed limitations, it’s where you take other people’s opinions or
personal limitations as your own. Where you let yourself immerse in other
people’s opinions about your value and worth, and adopt them in your life as
the boundaries to what you can achieve. The main reason this is dangerous, is
because most people aren’t hard workers so they can’t see it for themselves and
will attempt to convince you that you can’t have it either. This one is easily
overcome, as you have the power to accept it or not. Up to you, and you alone.
On addressing self-imposed limitations, know that you reap
what you sow. Never believe that just because you can’t do it now, that you’re condemned
to never achieving it. If it’s important to you, keep playing the game, keep
improving, keep measuring it, fall in love with it and see every training
session for your goal as removing weakness and ugliness from your body and
soul. That’s how you go through the pain of self-discipline, you know deep
within you that you’re expelling the bad parts of you with every minute of it.
On addressing externally imposed limitations, just shut it
down. Avoid talking about it, unless it’s with like-minded individuals (which
hopefully you’ll surround yourself with). Talking about dreams is easy. As Eric
Thomas says, “everyone has a dream, but not everybody got the grind”. So say it
once to general public, and then shut up and go in the lab and keep working.
The key to thinking about externally imposed limitations, is to keep asking
yourself “Compared to what or to whom?”. If it’s to someone or something that
you know isn’t hard-charging, then just dismiss it and carry on. No second
guessing. If it’s from someone who you look up to, always separate the hate
from the message and try to understand if there’s a lesson to be learnt there,
ask for details on what you’re doing wrong and then go and fix it. But whatever
you do, if it’s important to you, never accept an externally imposed limitation
as a self-imposed one. EVER.
So, Rafael, please learn to assess limitations wherever they
may come from, and pick a strategy to deal with and keep being consistent at
it. The road to mastery in any area starts with acknowledgement of your current
limitations and in devising plans to address them. Consistently, day in and day
out. Be relentless, even obsessed if relating to your vocation or dreams and
all the other stuff will take care of itself.
