Lack of trust in self - I'm not suggesting people should always trust themselves. That's dangerous. Second guessing one self has been saving our species for millenia. For instance, looking at the hole before throwing yourself into it to see how deep it is will probably be a good idea. But most people don't believe they've been made to do great things, and great things is not about how much money you have in the bank or how many tv shows you've appeared on. Doing great things is choosing what your craft or art is, what is meaningful to you and striving and working to solve problems or add value in whatever area you choose. The problem for most is that they're afraid to start, which is always the hardest part. For most, if they could stop thinking that it's a 1000 mile journey and focus on making it alive to the end of the first mile, that would be enough to get the momentum going, and when momentum sets in a whole world of opportunities and paths appear in front of you
Lack of work ethic - This is one that really gets on my nerves. I have zero patience for people that don't want to help themselves. People that look up to others and the STUFF they have, that say out of their mouth they want to have and be the same things, and then have a total lack of commitment to what they say they want. They wake up late, sit in front of the tv every evening, play video games, commit to nothing and then spend their waking hours saying how the world is so unfair and that everything should be delivered to them at their doorstep. Behind most overnight success stories, there are years of struggle and small accomplishments. Behind most overnight success stories, are people that fought all the odds to achieve their goals. People who said 'fuck it' to distractions and decided to go 'all in' in life, and stopped accepting excuses from themselves. Let me be clear about this one...
Success takes hard work, and commitment and effort and learning how to deal with setbacks and failure. And more often than not, when success didn't take hard work it means that someone's talent took them places that their character probably won't or shouldn't keep them. I believe this with all my heart, Rafael.
Thinking success requires perfection - It doesn't. It never did and probably never will. Most people that don't choose a path and make it an habit of giving a small step everyday down that path, believe everything needs to be in place before they can start. And... it never is the right time. Too busy at work, just had another child, I can't find the time. All excuses. Success requires adjustments, not excuses. The road to success isn't a straight one. It never is. And at the end of the day, we can all grow and learn from the small and big successes and the small and big failures. Just be sure to keep self-critical enough to learn the lessons that will allow you to avoid the same mistake twice. Most get stuck in loops of the same problem and never seem to get out of it. It's a pity.
I'll start next week... - Convince yourself that the only time is now. It's all you have and all you ever will have.
If you commit yourself into giving a step forward every single day of your life, even if a small one, it all adds up. And by the time you look back and see where you are, you'll see how long you've come and that the effort and commitment you applied and where it brought you. Do not live in the future, waiting for the moon and the stars to line up before you go. Either say you're doing it now, or shut up. No one has any business saying how wonderful their lives will be in X amount of time, and how they'll then be able to pursue their dreams because for most that say it, it never actually comes
And finally, the one I personally most struggle with.
People blaming it on their children as justification for why they can't have the things they want in life. Especially when they're doing it in order to give STUFF instead of realizing that what we do helps shape the people our children become.
I would never put such a burden on you, Rafael. Because, if anything, you only made my resolve stronger. I have you to fight for now. I want you to have a little brother or a little sister and for you and mum to have the opportunity to spend a lot of time together growing up and your mom wants it too. That means I have to step up. That means I need to keep waking up at 5.30am every morning to study while everyone else is asleep, and if I can't achieve it then I'll need to wake up at 4am or 3 am if need be. It means I have to keep working hard everyday to show how much value I can add to my employer so I can make myself more valuable so your mom doesn't need to work. It means that while everyone else is watching tv and at the pub having beers, I'm reading and listening to audiobooks so I can keep getting better. It means that when others try to push me down and discredit me in front of my stakeholders, I get up and face them and tell them to bring it on. And to you, I hope it means you grew up knowing the man your father chose to be, that you saw the sacrifice and the commitment I put through every single day and aren't afraid yourself to do whatever it takes to be successful, because that's really all I want. For you not to be afraid of working hard and commit yourself to anything. And to be honest, I probably want all these things for you because I didn't have them myself growing up. I have no illusions though. I'm not looking here for approval or affirmation. By wanting all these things and to provide for you and your mom, I'm not being selfless. I'm honest with myself enough to know this. I'm being selfish, because nothing will make me prouder and happier with myself than getting to the end of my life knowing I provided for my family. If I get to the end of my life and that's all I did, that to me is success.
