I'd start by arguing that learning from others is the basis of all personal growth. And I say this not because I believe people can't help themselves, but because learning from others always give you a different perspective on whatever issue you're dealing with.
Be it family, business, path choosing, knowing what needs doing to achieve your own personal goals or any other thing really, knowing what someone you admire would do can help us make the right choices in life that will lead us to the outcomes we want. Having said that, I believe the first step to considering someone a role model really is admiration,
When you admire someone, you regard them, as people, as impressive or recognize them for having done something impressive or worthy of your respect. When you admire someone you're really saying that there's something about that individual that you value and respect, and many times we choose role models that have already achieved things we want to achieve ourselves.
Ideally, if you have the opportunity, having a personal relationship with someone you regard a Role Model can make him a mentor as well. A mentor is someone more experienced and a trusted adviser whom you know you can count on for direction and guidance, but I personally believe the greatest value you can take from a mentor is his ability to ask hard questions that will make you consider yourself or a situation in a way you haven't done before, whether that's a pleasant experience or something that will fill you with fear and doubt.
For me, I've always had role models. And they've evolved over time as I evolved as a man, which is how it should be. The more you learn, the more you live your life, the more experiences you gather, the more failures and achievements you go through, the more you internalize meaning of what different things make you do, how they make you feel and how they define you as a person and as a man. And it's in those times, where having role models to serve as compass or a light in the dark, can become invaluable supporting you in making the decisions that you know will get you to where you want to be. Personally, at one point in my life I was trying too much. Had too many role models, many times they said conflicting things or had different approaches to problems and it even led me to "analysis paralysis" which is a state of over analyzing everything and you end up not following things through or never making consistent actions because you're always analyzing different ways of achieving the same thing. So please be wary of this, Rafael, and understand that who you choose as role models ends up saying a lot about you.
So, let me tell you who MY role models are and have been for many years and why I chose to consider them my role models (in no particular order):
- Eric Thomas - E.T. The Hip Hop Preacher, they call him. Growing up, I've been through some 'rougher things', growing up without my parents (yet a loving aunt), financial difficulties, and the first time I paid my own rent I was 16 years old after having to leave my aunt's house. E.T. reminds me how much further I could've fallen, and how 'when you want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe, then you'll be successful". He's one of the most passionate public speakers I ever came across, who ate out of trash cans and lived in abandoned buildings, took 12 years to do a 4 year degree. To me, he's the pinnacle of what never giving up means and I consistently learn from his blog, books and videos. He always starts by looking within, and not blaming others for your shortcomings. Personal responsibility and accountability.
- Zach Even-Esh - Zach is a strength coach with a work ethic that gives me chills. I also read him everyday through his blog and been part of his community for many, many years. He always talks about the basics, and mastering the basics as opposed to 'pretty boy' training and not attacking life. He talks about integrity, about being passionate about what you do, about taking care of your family and doing what you must to support them, about helping others achieve their objectives. But he always points the finger back at you. He always makes you believe that most choose the easy life, the undriven and passionless life and that when you know what you want, and keep a 'white belt' mentality and having continuous learning and improvement as one of the major goals in life, everything will eventually fall into place and you'll surround yourself with individuals that will help you reach higher heights.
- Scott Ginsberg - he's an entrepreneur, known for wearing a nametag for over 15 years now I think. He has a daily blog as well, and Scott reminds me what it means to live like an artist, how to leverage your own skills and think objectively about what they mean to the market and your personal worth, ie how much would or should someone else pay for your services. He reminds me of what creative processes can do for you, and how you can use them to add value to others. Some of his insights honestly changed my life.
- Seth Godin - he reminds me of how to think like a marketer and a linchpin. I own several of his books as well and follow his daily blog. Seth is extremely intelligent and successful businessman, especially in the marketing and entrepreneurial area, but his advice applies everywhere. He talks about how our world changed, and most haven't changed with it still stuck in the industrial age, still expecting employers to take care of us and our families. He talks about what it takes to make a difference, to create your own personal brand and what that means to how others perceive you. I'd miss his daily insights if they ever stopped coming. He taught me how to make a difference.
Over time, I shall mention them in more detail and specific lessons I learnt from them which have shaped who I am and how I deal with others. But the main thing I wanted to share with you, son, is that choosing your role models carefully is very important. It will shape who you are to some degree, how you make decisions, what you consider before taking action, how you actually take action. I carry these people with me whatever I go, and thinking how I think they'd react in situations, helps me decide how I want to react myself.
Choose people that inspire you and can help you with achieving what you want for your life (not be like them, but understanding their perspective and being self-critical enough to understand if that decision would make sense in your own life). Learn from them, even if you never met them, and be sure to use their knowledge as stepping stone to learn, drive improvements, change your own perception of what you want out of life and who you are, and once you can understand how the person works and how they think, the idea of "what would that person do in this situation?" can and will always provide you with extremely valuable insights that you should take in consideration. Rafael, please choose yours wisely and don't be afraid to ditch them as you grow and they're are no longer supporting who you wish to become. Evolving as a person sometimes means "killing" your old self, and killing your old self often means letting go of your role models and choosing different ones.
