On Pursuing your Dreams

It didn't take me long to choose what I wanted to tell you as my first letter to you, son. You're now about to reach adulthood and I'm hoping you'll have lots of dreams and things you want to do and achieve in life. Things that are precious to you, that you hold dear in your heart and mind. Things that every time you think about them, your pupils dilate, your heart races and you even get a bit anxious and scared and hopeful of what they'll feel and look like.

It's good to have those dreams, and today I can only hope that I was a good enough father to instil in you over these years that your dreams, YOUR dreams are worth whatever effort becomes necessary for you to achieve them.

But know this, son...

Most adults do NOT live their dreams, though they've all dreamt them. Most adults stopped believing that their dreams are possible, or just plain decided they're too much trouble.

Most adults come up with a million excuses on how LIFE got in the way, and so they're no longer ENTITLED to their dreams. That what's left for them to do, is to raise their children well in hope that their children will achieve either their personal dreams, or worst yet, that their children will achieve their father's dream for them.

When me and mum decided we were going to have a baby, everyone around me, it seemed, thought they should tell me how my life was now stalled forever and that all dreams I had about my personal achievements, career and life goals would now be meaningless and that I should give up on them because everything I should now do, should be focused on you and you only. That I, as an individual, should now be irrelevant.

And I do see many of my friends living like that. Devoid of passion in their daily work, being clock punchers looking at their watches all day to go back home, living  the "Thank God it's Friday" life going their whole weeks and lives wishing it was Friday, saying "Yes, sir" to everyone around them and believing they shouldn't take risks in their careers or spend effort in educating themselves, because that effort should be going towards getting STUFF for their own children.

I have two words for that, Rafael. Screw it! What man would I be trying to raise if I was devoid of passion? What example would I be giving you throughout your whole life if you couldn't see my passion and hunger for learning, on always improving and never being too good for school, learn more and be more? How could I stand here with a straight face saying you should be following YOUR dreams if I wasn't man enough to pursue mine? What kind of example would I be setting if all I did from now on was keep my current life as is, stopped evolving and pursuing the dreams I've always dreamt? What lessons about living would you be learning if that's all I did?

Neither you or your mum deserve a weak version of me, because if I couldn't follow my dreams, I could never support you as the strong man with a strong life I wish to be, that I've dreamt of being, that I've told myself was a non-negotiable. I promised your mum some years back that I will ALWAYS take care of her, no matter what becomes necessary. The day you were born and I looked into your eyes, you became part of that commitment too, and failing at it will never be an option.

But just as I had my nay-sayers, you'll have yours son. People around you won't be committed enough, strong enough or driven enough to work on their dreams and they'll try to convince you you can't have yours either.

Some of them out of envy, some of them out of resentment and worst yet, some of them even out of love. Yes, son, out of love. Because they'll tell themselves they want to save you from disappointment, from frustrations saying you shouldn't aim so high and just get a job you're decent at so you can support the family you'll one day have.

They won't believe in themselves, they won't be willing to make the sacrifices that everything that is good in life takes (because everything good takes hard work), they won't be willing to make adjustments in their own lives and they'll give you hundreds of readily available and socially acceptable excuses that we all (me included) sometimes fall back to justify why it is we can't do something.

But you need to know that you cannot wait on anyone else if you want to live YOUR life on YOUR terms, and you should NEVER have to ask for permission from others to do it. That no one else will care enough about your dreams to do the work on your behalf, and if you want something in life, you need to go out there and TAKE IT. It won't be there waiting for you, or on silver platter just ripe for you to pick up.

You'll have to carve your own path if you want to achieve your own dreams, and I can just hope that by keeping on doing it myself and not allowing others to tell me what my life should look like that I can lead by example and inspire you to live the life you'll, undoubtedly, dream of living.