Before we discuss principles, I should say that much of my personal beliefs about principles, aren't just mine. One day we shall have a conversation about having role models, and I will tell you who mine are, all of them, They're based on someone elses but I made them mine. Today I want to tell you about a man whom I admire by the name of Ray Dalio and he wrote a book, available for free, called 'Principles'. I read this book many times over and will keep doing it. You can find it here:
Bridgewater Associates Ray Dalio Principles.pdf
Much of the content I shall share today, is probably in one way or another, already referenced and probably better explained in Ray's book which I'd recommend everyone should read.
Principles are things you can refer back to over and over again, to assist in guiding you in decision-making throughout your life. It differs from 'solutions', in that solutions are specific answers to specific questions and as such have a limited applicability in being used across various disciplines or situations. A simple example would be the principle of prudence. A man that holds this principle dear to his heart will be a man who doesn't speed over the limit on a motorway, he won't make risky investments and whenever he performs a function at his job, he'll be sure to review and assess impact and create and execute plans that are cumulative and with milestones and checkpoints that can be checked and reverted if needed. He holds that principle as something he values, and he ensures that his actions reflect that same principle.
Most people go through life without thinking about what their principles are. I believe that's wrong for two reasons:
- If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything - principles are like beacons. they're there so you can check yourself, before you wreck yourself. They allow you to look at ANY situation, and assess how you'll be responding to it. If you don't have principles, any new situation will require a complete and thorough assessment of what it is, and of how you'll respond to it. Having principles, allow you to assess situations in light of them, and so decision making is easy. Life is, then, simple.
- No one enjoys the company of people who aren't consistent - most people hate surprises, me included. Surprises in this context, is not getting home and having a present from your mom waiting for you. That's always nice and enjoyable. I'm talking about people who respond to a situation one way one day, and the next the same situation warrants a completely different response. No one likes this because for the same behavior, you could one day be praised and the next scolded. How can one know what's good and acceptable when that's the case? Especially, having a person like this for a boss is one of the worst things I've had to personally deal with in my professional life, as in my personal life, these types of people stand no chance of building a relationship with me.
But, in all that is good about principles, very few people consistently practice what they preach. I should confess that I, myself, at times start acting in ways that are contrary to my principles but whenever I catch myself doing that, I take a hard look at whatever situation I'm facing. But know, that we all fall, and that's alright as long as you know what needs to happen to direct your compass and get back on course.
Life throws curve balls at all of us, and sometimes it's easy to forget we're actually the 'captain of our ship, the masters of our souls'.
'Your principles need to reflect the values you truly believe in'. Your principles need to be yours. Not the principles I think you should live by son, or your mom or your friends, but what YOU choose for YOUR own life. Because you are the one who'll be living with yourself everyday. You're the one going to bed at night thinking about what you did during the day, and if it reflects not only the person you are but the person you choose to be. And, trust me on this as I've personally wrestled with it in the past, one of the worst feelings I felt in life is going to bed at night and thinking that there's a difference, a gap, between what comes out of my mouth and what I'm actually doing. You start feeling like a fraud, you start questioning your beliefs and your actions, and it can lead to a spiral of depression as I've seen happen to others. So choose your principles carefully, Rafael. Make them yours, and don't accept behaviours from yourself that don't reflect them, and when you catch yourself doing it, get back on course. You'll live a strong life you so choose.
To finish this, I want to go back to something I mentioned before. That life is simple when you have principles.
I truly believe this with all my heart and mind. Now, don't get this twisted. I'm NOT saying that life is EASY when you have principles, I'm saying life is SIMPLE which is something completely different.
Being consistent with your true principles is hard work. It forces you to put yourself out there, not accepting BS from others. Living with principles can actually be harder, because you'll want to be consistent and that often means that you can't allow yourself to succumb to whims or impulses that would put you in a position where you'd be living against them. But once you have them and commit to living by them, life is simple because deep in your heart we ALWAYS know what's the right thing to do (we always do) and so will be a personal choice whenever you decide not to act accordingly, knowing that if you need to think hard if something aligns to your principles or not, it probably doesn't and you'll be better off just dropping it. I hope you choose yours wisely, son. Because those who do, live fulfilling and meaningful lives and other people love being around them. If I could choose, this is the only thing I'd choose for your life.
